your thong is hanging out like whoa
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
