listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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