dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
