I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
