i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
And the cops told us we were all naked.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize