Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
