Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
