so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize