You work out of a Hotel?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
