Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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