Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
