She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
