Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
