I seem to have left my pride at pride
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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