Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
