he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Randomize