do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
