Buhtt sex?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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