He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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