My first STD was from a foam party
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize