FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
