Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
