I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
