No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
