Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
