im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
