you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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