They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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