I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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