Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize