Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
