And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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