Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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