I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
