Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
