wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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