I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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