I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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