but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
