I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
