you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
