somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize