oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
