I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
