you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize