but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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