Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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