Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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