he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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