i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
