I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
