And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
