So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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