Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
