Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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