sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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