Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
