She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
