i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
