can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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