i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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