remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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