So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
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