Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
