I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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