She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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