Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
