I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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